Head Versus Heart : Why logic divides—and love reveals

When someone asks me what I do, I always say ‘I drop women into their hearts and out of their heads, so they can have an honest conversation with their true self’

So what does that actually mean and why on earth would I do that in the first place? Well there’s one thing I find myself saying to my clients more than anything else:

Don’t let your head get its feet under the table with a cup of tea and a packet of biscuits. Learn to let your heart run naked and free in the forest with a bottle of bubbly.

It usually lands with a laugh. Or confusion. And then— recognition - because we all know exactly what that means.

The head is used to being in control. It poses as polite. Civilised. Reasonable. It pulls up a chair, makes itself comfortable, and before you know it, it’s settled in. It starts offering commentary, then opinions, then conclusions dressed up as facts. It eventually takes ownership of the entire house if you let it.

And what the head does best—what it cannot help but do—is divide.It separates everything into categories.

Right or wrong.
Good or bad.
Win or lose.
Them or me.

At first, this feels useful. Even intelligent. It gives the illusion of clarity—of progress. As though, if we can just work out which side something belongs to, we’ll finally arrive at the answer. But this is the quiet trap b ecause the more the head separates, the further we move from truth.

Separation doesn’t resolve—it multiplies. It creates tension, defensiveness, overthinking. It turns living, breathing moments into problems to be solved. Into competition at times, but most importantly, it pulls us out of connection—with others, and with ourselves.

I’ve seen this in my own life more times than I care to admit. In the bigger decisions—where to live, who to love, where to go, where to work and when to exit a job, situation, relationship —I’ve always trusted my heart. Those choices were instant, instinctive, expansive, alive. They carried a kind of certainty that didn’t need explaining.

But when it came to something more delicate — conflict, misalignment, emotional uncertainty with another person — that’s when I let my head move in. I would analyse everything. Replay conversations. Deconstruct tone, timing, meaning. I would try to figure it out—as if the answer lived somewhere inside the thinking.

But the head doesn’t lead you to resolution - It leads you deeper into division because it is always asking: Who’s right? Who’s wrong? What does this mean? What should I do next? And in doing so, it takes you further away from the only place the answer actually exists.

The heart.. The heart doesn’t divide—it reveals. It doesn’t ask you to choose sides. It doesn’t need to win. It doesn’t create stories to protect you. It simply shows you the truth—with love. And that truth often leads you somewhere very different. Not necessarily easier. Not always comfortable. But always cleaner. Quieter. More whole.

The heart might guide you to soften instead of defend. To speak honestly instead of strategise. To walk away quickly instead of stay and analyse. It doesn’t fragment the moment—it brings you back into it. Back into connection. Back into integrity. Back into yourself.

The head, for all its brilliance, is wired for control. For prediction. For safety. The heart is wired for truth. And truth doesn’t live in separation. It lives in presence. In feeling. In the deeper knowing that exists before thought gets involved.

So the next time you find yourself circling a situation, trying to think your way to clarity, notice what’s happening. Notice the categories forming. The judgements building. The subtle pull toward “figuring it out.” And ask yourself:

Has my head made itself at home here?

If it has, gently interrupt it. Take away the tea. Clear the table. And open the door to something far less controlled—but far more intelligent. Let your heart run. Because while the head will always try to solve the moment by dividing it… the heart will show you the answer by loving it.