Can I Get Away With calling This : The Family Shit Show?

Women usually bring up their family dramas with me, and then their childhood trauma. I’m not a therapist so I listen but I can’t advise or dissect it, tempting though that is, it’s not for me to fix. I’m here to help them hear from their own heart what their soul needs for their evolution.

I do however live through experiences that mirror my clients, and thats how healers live their lives. We get to me our own guinea pigs first. !

If you get into the energetic healing space and you find a genuine healer/ guide then they will most likely have been through what you’re experiencing. They will have learned how to turn experience into wisdom rather than simply collecting wounds.

And they will learned through those experiences how to fully clear their channel, so it’s clean and allows them to lean into clearing these issues out of the collective field, so we all raise the frequency of the planet together. And these patterns stop with us, the awakened ones, in our own family lineages.

And even though I feel i’ve lived through enough of my own family shit shows growing up, for some reason the universe decided i needed another random one this week…on the first day of the week of the Virgo new moon - and I am a Virgo on the cusp with Libra. My method of Virgoan healing is therefore to focus on creating something that is both beautiful and peaceful in a Venusian Libra way.

An almighty family showdown …. probably the most hurtful family situation I’ve ever experienced. For the first time though, I asked rational questions, I listened quietly to the answers. I said my bit. I stood my ground. I shut it down. And then I walked away. I was hurt. I was angry. I cried on and off for a few days. But underneath all of it was a sense that something had shifted and it needed to happen and I was in a better place.

They chose their next timeline, their energetic evolution, and I chose mine. I entered through love for myself and my child, but it stung nonetheless. They chose to defend their patch.

So I did what I do when I need to move emotions and experiences out of my body: I went out with my friends and we found somewhere to dance. And it worked. I felt every cell in my body free itself at 2am and by 4am I just wanted to go home, have a tea and sleep.

I got some of it out of my body but that isn't the end of the work. Now comes the bit we’re less inclined to do - the going inwards : The parts work.

The looking at which part of me was activated, what it was protecting, what it needed, and why this particular situation hit such a deep nerve. This is the bit a lot of people skip.

We’re very good at distracting ourselves from difficult feelings. We can exercise, work, drink, scroll, shop, eat, have sex, go on holiday, make ourselves incredibly busy — anything that means we don't have to sit with the deep stuff that is actually going on underneath.

And honestly, right now I would much rather be eating a packet of maltesers and drinking coffee than doing any of this. I’m hungover. I’m tired. I got in after 4am. I have to take my son to an outdoor cinema tonight. Would like to spend the afternoon horizontal and pretending none of it happened.

But I know better now. The night out last night was part of the work. The crying was part of the work. The boundary was part of the work. The verbals were part of the work. Functioning on 3 hours sleep is part of the work in this instance it seems.

And now the looking inward is part of the work too, because the aim isn't to become someone who never gets triggered, never gets angry, never gets hurt or never falls apart. The aim is to become someone who knows what to do when those things happen.

Someone who can recognise when an old wound has been touched and choose to tend to it rather than hand it the steering wheel. Our childhood trauma, relationship trauma, career trauma, disappointments and old survival strategies don't simply disappear. They can live on in the nervous system, in our patterns, our reactions, our relationships and the stories we tell ourselves.

I don’t numb myself out of it like i used to when i was younger, I don’t ignore it and ‘wait for it to pass’. Instead I work in the quantum field and resolve any energetic disturbance from my past, because any of that remaining is going to get in the way of my future.

And I’ve learned never to let people or things get in the way of what I’m aiming for. I’m focused on building something beautiful and peaceful …and every cell of my being is going to will that into existence!